F-O-G spells pain in the butt.

After the late night 'your KC flight is canceled' call, my super traveler roommate Renae calls United and by some miracle, we score some of the last direct flight tickets to Dulles. So K-State is dividing and...well...potentially conquering.

3 Groups, 1 Goal: make our international flight.

The other groups are hopping from Chicago to Philly to maybe DC, and with airline perfection (a rare pheonomenon) will arrive with 40 minutes.

And despite my 5 person group's 'lucky' break, we're still forced to negotiate Dulles in under 2 hours. And from what I've heard, Dulles may rival the standard DMV for the coveted title of Inefficient Hell on Earth.

So now Renae and I are gearing up for the sprint across Dulles. I'm psyching myself up for some serious moving sidewalk negotiating. I'll throw elbows. I'll handle security check with a world record for rapid efficiency (I'm prepped and rocking Velcro shoes. They're orange and quite spectacular). I'll even distribute granola bars and save the straggling, famished KStaters! All on 2 hours of sleep.

2 hours? Why of course, as no one can possibly expect me to have NOT been packing at the very last minute, forsaking sleep. All in the effort to stuff all 49.5 pounds into my suitcase (a victorious 1/2 pound roundhouse kick in the face of astronomical fees!)

Tune in for the enthralling sequel, in which this leading lady answers the most baffling of airport mysteries:
-Will she be defeated by the endless length of Dulles Airport?!
-Will she become a European nudist after her baggage disappears into the abyss of United Airlines impromptu flight changes?!
-Will only the 5 of us be forced to attempt finding our non-English speaking charter bus driver, when our leading lady's limited Italian skills mean she only knows how to ask "how much is this eggplant?" !